I Knew I Was Loved
by x snow-pony x
Summary: One-shot based on the call to Cam after the events of Chain Reaction. Inspired by Linneagb.


**A/N So, you may or or may not have seen that Linneagb put up a Chain Reaction story (** **which is like the only one I've seen that isn't mine XD), and as she was writing it she said she wouldn't tell m what it was about as I'd steal her idea... And she was right. XD So, here goes with another take on that story (with her permission of course). :-P**

 **Tracy POV**

I followed Mike down to the kitchen as he took the last of the food down from the living room. He'd told me several times not to help, but now, with the kids all going to bed, there was something I needed to ask him.

I just had one thing left to do today, and I wasn't sure I could do it alone.

"Mike?" I said hesitantly as he put the last plate down on the surface.

Mike turned to me and gave me a small smile, obviously hearing the nervousness in my voice. "What is it, Trace?"

"I, I know I've already asked too much of you today, but, I, um..." I paused for a moment. "Could you come with me while I call Cam?"

Mike gave me another smile. "Of course I can," he said. "If you go and get your laptop and meet me in the qui... the living room, then we can talk to her, yeah?"

I gave Mike a smile. He'd obviously worked out I wouldn't want to be back in the quiet room today after all that had happened. I then went to the office to get my laptop.

When I got to the living room Mike was there, sitting on one of the sofas. I put my laptop on the coffee stable and started it up, before I sat on the sofa with my legs underneath me, resting my head on Mike's arm.

Mike took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's alright," he said. "It'll be OK."

I gave him a small smile, before I typed a message to Cam and waited for her to reply. It only took about ten seconds, but it felt like ten years before her face came into the screen.

"Hey, Tracy," she said. "Oh, hi, Mike." She paused for a moment, studying me. "You alright, Tracy?"

"Yeah," I lied. "Just tired."

Mike gave me a look, and I looked down to avoid his gaze.

"I thought I told you to get an early night last night rather than staying up partying," said Cam.

"I did," I said. "A couple more nights should do it."

Can gave me a smile, before she suddenly looked excited. "Oh, Tracy, I accepted that job today. I was so thrilled! I started today, and it was just some writing but it's my own column and I'm going to be writing it for the next six months, and..."

As Cam spoke I could feel tears coming to my eyes, and I gave Mike's hand a squeeze. He briefly turned to me before he turned back to the screen and interrupted Cam.

"Cam, Tracy wanted to tell you something," he said, looking at me, meaningful but caring at the same time. "She won't leave, I promise."

"Leave?" asked Cam. "Tracy, what's happened? What have you done?"

"I, um, I..." I stopped speaking. The words stuck in my throat and the tears rolled down my cheeks. I buried my head in Mike's shirt so that Cam wouldn't see me cry. Mike wrapped his arms around me and gently tried to soothe me.

There was a few minutes' silence, before Cam's quiet voice came from the laptop. "What's wrong, Tracy?"

Mike looked down at me as I looked up at him, and I looked into his eyes as I gave a small nod. I didn't feel able to speak, and I knew that in my current state Mike would be able to put it better than me anyway.

"She's not been coping very well with you being away," said Mike.

"Why not?" asked Cam, her voice full of concern.

I turned to the screen, tears still on my face, trying to find the words to answer her. I knew what I wanted to say, the same things I'd wanted to say to Mike earlier when he'd asked me how I felt, but I couldn't say it. I just looked helplessly at the screen, before Mike wrapped his arm around me.

"It's OK," he said. "If you need some time to clear your head first, I'm sure Cam won't mind waiting until tomorrow."

"I'm just tired," I said weakly.

"Is that because of earlier?" Mike asked.

I nodded.

"What happened earlier?" asked Cam.

I looked to Mike again. Cam was asking too many questions that I didn't have the energy to answer, let alone the ability to think or get my words out straight.

I shouldn't have done this tonight.

Then again, maybe seeing Cam was what I needed before I went to bed, to know that she still loved me and wasn't going to leave, like Mike said.

Mike gave my hand a squeeze before he turned to face Cam. "She had a panic attack," he said. "There was a lot going on, and it all got a bit much."

As the concern on Cam's face grew I felt tears rolling down my cheeks once more, and rested my head on Mike's chest as I began to cry. Though it had been exhausting, thoughts of today, how Mike had been there for me when I needed him, and how Cam was now staying, showed me just how much they cared for me, something I'd never really realised up until now.

Maybe sometimes bad things happened for reasons like this.

I'd been feeling so lonely recently, like nobody cared about me anymore, but I now realised that I just hadn't seen it. And if only I'd told someone I would have realised it a lot sooner and wouldn't have had to have gone through today the way I had.

"I should have told you," I said to Mike. "I'm sorry."

Mike gave me a smile. "It's OK, Trace." He paused. "I just wish you hadn't had to go through all this just to tell me." Suddenly Mike looked at me, his voice serious. "Tracy?"

I looked up at him.

"What will you do if anything like this ever happens again?" I could see tears in his eyes. It must have been horrible for him to have to go through this as well.

"I'll tell you," I said. "I'll talk, like you said. I promise."

Mike gave me a smile and squeezed my hand, before I remembered Cam.

"I'm sorry," I said as I turned back to the screen. "Your new job has made you so happy, and look at me, ruining it for you.

Cam gave me a smile. "Tracy, you mean more to me than any old job. Yes, I love it, but I love you so, so much more." She paused for a moment. "And if you want me back, I'll drive to the airport right this minute and get the first plane home."

"No," I said. "I want you to be happy. You've never been this happy in a job, ever."

"I'll be happy in a job at home," said Cam. "And I'd rather you were happy."

"I'm fine," I said.

Mike looked down at me again, his eyes serious. "Tracy, tell her the truth."

I felt more tears coming to my eyes as I looked down at the floor, and then at Cam. "I really miss you."

Cam gave me a small smile, but I could see her eyes were glistening with tears. "I miss you too, Tracy."

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, both of us silently telling the other how much we missed them, before Cam spoke again.

"I'm still here, though," said Cam. "And I promise from now on I'll call every single day, even if I'm busy, and you can call me anytime if you need me, whatever time it is here or there."

I gave her a smile of thanks, the lump in my throat preventing me from saying anything as I realised that Mike had been right.

Mike looked at his watch. "Tracy, do you want to end it here and talk to Cam tomorrow?" he asked. "Then you can get a good night's sleep."

I nodded. I hadn't had a good night's sleep for a few weeks now, the nightmares waking me more frequently the more nights' sleep I'd lost, and now I was staying here overnight I hoped I'd be able to get some proper rest.

Can gave me a smile. "I'll let you go to bed then," she said. "Love you."

I gave her a smile back. "Love you too."

Cam gave me one last smile, before she vanished from the screen. As she left I could feel the fear come back, the fear I felt every time I ended a call with Cam, but Mike gave my hand a gentle squeeze which calmed me.

"You OK?" he asked.

I gave a small nod. Now that it was time to go to bed I wasn't feeling as relaxed as I had been at the party, but I didn't want Mike to have to do any more for me than he had already. As I'd said earlier, he'd already done too much.

Mike gave me a smile, before I shut down the laptop and we left the living room and went into the office. I put my laptop back in my bag, before I picked it up so I'd have my pyjamas to change into. Gina was doing the night shift tonight, so Mike took his coat and put it on. I then followed him into the hall.

"Well, I'm off home," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Trace."

He gave me a smile, before he stopped, obviously seeing the fear on my face. "What's wrong?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I don't want to be on my own."

Mike came towards me. "Do you want me to stay?"

I shook my head. "No, it's OK, you've done enough already."

"I didn't ask that," Mike said gently. "I didn't ask if I thought it was OK if I stayed again, I asked if _you_ wanted me to stay."

I gave a small nod.

Mike gave me a smile. "OK," he said. "I'll just need to quickly go home and get some things, and then I'll be back, OK?"

I nodded, before I wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you."

Mike hugged me back. "No problem, Kiddo."

As Mike pulled away from the hug and went to go out of the door, I couldn't stop myself from crying. I'd managed to calm myself down earlier so I didn't need Mike all the time, but now I was so tired, and the call with Cam had made my thoughts so jumbled up, that I didn't want to be on my own even for a few minutes.

Mike turned around when he heard my sniffles. His face softened, and he gently rubbed my arm. "I don't need to clean my teeth now, do I? One night won't hurt."

I gave Mike a grateful smile.

He told me to go to the spare staff bedroom whilst he changed into his pyjamas from the other staff bedroom, and when he'd finished he met me there. I had also changed and was sitting on the bed, the bedside lamp on.

Mike gave me a smile as he came in. "You OK?"

I gave a small nod. "Yeah. I just, I hope I don't have any more nightmares."

Mike gave me a smile: I'd told him about the nightmares after I'd finished crying in the quiet room, and that was why he'd allowed me to stay here for the night instead of at home. "Well, I'm here, so if you do just wake me up, yeah? Even if it's the middle of the night."

I gave another nod, before I gave him a smile.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," said Mike.

I got into the bed, Mike making sure I was comfortable before he sat down on the floor next to me. He then gently put his hand up to my hair and began to stroke it, his other hand holding one of mine, showing me I wasn't alone.

It wasn't long before I fell asleep, feeling safe enough to do so now that I knew that no one was going to leave me, and that both Mike and Cam had stayed.

And there was one last thing I also now knew.

I knew I was loved.

 **A/N I really hope you liked it. Some of this was quite similar to Linneagb's story, but that's only because it was good, and I liked the ideas. I did try to make it my own though. Please review. :-)**


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